Till Death Due Us Part
Lana V Lynx Unofficial Challenge-- Fucked Up Wedding Toast
This toast is for my ex-wife Carole and Brian. I have no idea what I am doing at this wedding, but don't worry I have not checked the mail in two days. I feel very powerful at this moment, feeling that I have the power to ruin everything with the stroke of a pen or lack of a stroke. However, I would like to wish you both years of happiness, and mortgage payments, and babies and child support. I will be sure to sign on the dotted line, granting you, the freedom to remarry, of course you just did that.
About the Creator
Gregory Payton
I am retired Air Force. I like to write poetry, and about the economy, and about current event. I have lost a lot in my life and I also write about processing grief.
I hope you find my work interesting.
Keep reading
More stories from Gregory Payton and writers in Fiction and other communities.
Bomb Scare
It was 2027, and the world never thought it would happen. A missle hit the United States, but it wasn't where they had anticipated. A little town in the northeast was hit by a missile strike, they didn't know why, and they didn't know exactly where it hit, but they did know it was a coastal community, somewhere between Maine and Delaware.
By Gregory Payton23 days ago in Fiction
Parting is such sweet and salty sorrow...
Dear Wife— At first, I hesitated to go forward with this resolution. But after your recent late-night binges scarfing down bags of chicharrónes—those pork rinds you dip in butter and the god-awful crunch they make, I knew I could no longer reach you.
By Lamar Wiggins6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (4)
Hahahahahahahahaha that was hilarious! Loved it!
You're ugly when you're drunk. 😉⚡
this was excellent, Gregory!
Hahaha, this was excellent, Gregory!