Sharp jaggedly cliffs
The blazing warm sun on me
Sound of ocean waves
About the Creator
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More stories from Paige Turner and writers in Poets and other communities.
Chronic Ache in the Soul of a Single Parent
There is a chronic ache in the soul of a single parent. It lingers, feeling endless. This ache feels so difficult, especially when you look at other families. They seem so… whole. They seem so joyful and complete. There is a husband and a wife and children in a stroller. Thinking about your single state, you realize how awkward you feel, how out of place at various functions and gatherings. They are all happily together and you’re miserably alone. Disappointment with the current life circumstances just settles in to stay, or so it feels. How could these layers of disappointment be broken up anyhow?
By Rowan Finley 5 days ago in Humans
Comments (1)
Love the use of “jaggedly,” so concrete and tangible. “The blazing warm sun” closes the haiku with a sense of peace and feeling the sun on one’s face. The second line is dramatic and it introduces water strongly but it also takes over the peace of the other two lines because of its length and choppiness (although the choppiness echoes the waves). The challenge would be to reduce that watery and airy emotion of the second line to 7 syllables like reducing a perfume to its core essence.