Harper Lewis

Joined July 2025

225 stories

Bio

I'm a subversive weirdo nerd witch who loves rocks. Intrusive rhyme bothers me. Some of my fiction may have provoked divorce proceedings in another state.😈

My words are mine. Suggest ai use and get eviscerated.

MA English literature, CofC

Achievements (12)

Stories (225)

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Take Off Your Prose!. Content Warning.
Welcome to the Temple of the Profane. I know, right? Whodathunk I’d ever encourage end rhyme? If it’s offensive, I’m okay with it. Grab a pint of Guinness or Jameson’s and don’t tell me “dirty limerick” is redundant. I’m well aware that if it isn’t dirty, it’s not a true limerick. But some people try to ruin a good time with some puritan Pollyanna bullshit every chance they get. I’ve read some clean limericks, and there’s something about them that’s more wrong than an olive in a Bloody Mary or a stalk of celery in a fucking martini. If I can figure out how, I’ll fine anyone who tries to sneak a clean limerick in here, and I’ll press criminal charges if sentimentality enters the equation. It has no place outside of Hallmark cards and movies, and we’re not dumbing down this room.
By Harper Lewis20 days ago in Writers
Gen X
We were born into the Cold War, grew up in the era of Moscow on the Hudson, Yakov Smirnoff, and Mikhail Baryshnikov. We wore leg warmers and knew Jane Fonda from her workout videos and On Golden Pond. We saw E.T. phone home and pitied the fool with Mr. T.
By Harper Lewis21 days ago in Critique
Kevin’s Wedding. Content Warning.
As you all know, Kevin and I were roommates at Duke, then for a few years after graduation, until he and Sloane moved in together. I remember Sloane’s friends cautioning her against moving in without a ring, that she’d never get one if she shacked up without one, but I knew that for Kevin, moving in with Sloane would lead us here.
By Harper Lewis21 days ago in Fiction
Boxing
When I was in my mid-thirties, I joined the Augusta Boxing Club on Walton Way. The subtitle is the club motto, and I saw guys wearing t-shirts emblazoned with sayings like “Fighting solves EVERYTHING.” I was the only woman, and I swear I got high on the testosterone.
By Harper Lewis21 days ago in Writers
Phony Bologna . Content Warning.
Nothing lights my fire like false accusations, wood for the pyre to burn this witch with justification. But I don’t weigh the same as a duck
By Harper Lewis22 days ago in Poets
Sideways Sabotage
Ever get a compliment that’s all surface, hiding an insult disguised on purpose? Ever get the sensation of being conned and played
By Harper Lewis22 days ago in Poets
Kindness
I’ve noticed a common trait among the passive aggressive (aside from the glaringly obvious ones): when called out, they without exception refer to the failed sideways attack as evidence of their “kindness.” I can’t count on an abacus how many times I’ve experienced this, and, frankly, I’m fed up.
By Harper Lewis22 days ago in Critique
Rose
Oh, Romeo, don’t you know? By any other name, the thorn feels the scorn, carries the blame. When the lamb is born of blood and shame,
By Harper Lewis23 days ago in Poets
Goddess in Disguise. Winner in What the Myth Gets Wrong Challenge. Top Story - March 2026.
Please gather together with me, join me at my writing table, wherever I may fashion it. Clever Calliope and sage Clio, bring your skill and veracity to my words,
By Harper Lewis23 days ago in Fiction
Clearing
bank of clouds wind-drifts low-pressure storm dissipates the sky breathes again
By Harper Lewis24 days ago in Poets
Before Leaving
oak branches naked gracefully stretching their limbs unfettered by leaves
By Harper Lewis24 days ago in Poets
Mess
closet bar collapse textiles in a jumbled mess hangers in tangles
By Harper Lewis24 days ago in Poets