parental guidance

i wish you'd told me you believed in me more,

and i wish you'd been a little nicer.

i know you love me

because now i understand

the love a parent has for their child

but i wish you

had the courage

to show it -

plainly,

openly,

wantingly,

instead of hiding it behind

gestures and money.

"you had everything you ever wanted growing up"

well, at least aside from comfort and hugs.

i still remember the alcohol

and the names i was called

and the dark nights

huddled at the top of the staircase

listening to the fights

behind tears in our eyes

wondering if everything was our fault.