bipolar

Bipolar disorder; understanding the highs, the lows and the in between.

An excerpt
You open your eyes, sighing you come to the realization you aren't dead. Staring at the ceiling, many thoughts cross your mind, ranging from intense emotions such as hatred to elation, there are thoughts of death, why you aren't fucking good enough, and lastly death. There it is again, always in your life like a dark, gloomy cloud stalking you around. Today could be the day. You decide to finally get out of bed, the sheets haven't been washed in weeks, if not months. The floor is strewn with dirty plates, empty cans, and dirty clothes. The ashtray on your nightstand is almost over flowing, ashes all over the places, especially the floor when you were too lazy to ash. Posters cover the tar stained walls, black out curtains cover the windows, you aren't even sure what time of day it is. On your desk you find the cruddy old school alarm clock, that barely works. I states 3:00. You open the murky curtains to see it's dark outside.
By Katherine Peters5 years ago in Psyche
Being Bipolar: Now in Color
Hey Reader, what’s up! Life is Awesome! Today I woke up and was like, "For real? I’m alive and it's my birthday!" I just turned 30 something years old today! June 26, 2020! I lived to do so many things even just today. Not things that might have seemed to matter so much individually but made all the difference in the big picture. Like many other things in life.
By Olivia Bulnes5 years ago in Psyche
Bipolar disorder is a Mother F’er
looks are deceiving I have known this for year's now. Growing up I always knew there was something different about me. I would have moments I felt like I had won the lottery, then I would wake up and feel like my best friend had died. My moods were always all over the place and so was I. The thing about it the only person who could tell was me... So I thought.
By Serai Wilson5 years ago in Psyche
Battle Of The Mind
When I was born, I had medical problems. My right lung collapsed, and my heart stopped right as my mom was getting cut open to birth me. I was revived (obviously), and then I spent about a month or so in the NICU in an incubator.
By Melissa Ermi5 years ago in Psyche
Living like I do
Living like I do (out of my car) is a very humbling experience. It teaches me a lot about what to be grateful for. Who knew it was going to be so long for me to ever get stable. "Ever" as in, not yet. I have been unstable staying anywhere accept anything that is my own for the last 10 years. A couple of years I lived with my ex and his family and with numerous break ups I stayed in a few "motels", not "hotels", (note the difference). I consider my life disgusting and many would agree. Homelessness is not accepted by I believe the majority of those so fortunate not to be without a roof of their own over their head.
By Heather Bliss5 years ago in Psyche
Hunger
I think I’ve always been hungry. Or perhaps I’ve never been full. I’ve never had some deep seeded desire to watch my life unfold like the road atlas shoved in the glovebox. I just want to live. My hunger stems from a longing to have stability. To know I will be going to bed in the same place I woke up the morning prior. My hunger stems in knowing that I don’t have to remember which food pantries are open on which days. Because despite what I think, I’m not an adult and shouldn’t be allowed to make adult decisions.
By Ash5 years ago in Psyche
I AM BIPOLAR
Not again!!!!!! Will this vicious cycle ever end? I can always see it coming, I know exactly what lies ahead. Destruction! Destruction of my life. Destruction of the lives of those unlucky enough to be around me.
By Karen Cummings5 years ago in Psyche
My Struggles with Bipolar/Schizophrenia in My Relationship
I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when I was 18. It eventually escalated to be a Bipolar diagnosis a few years later. I hated living with it. My therapist said my condition was severe but to me I felt I recovered rather quickly from it. It only takes a few weeks for the medicine to kick in. The issue was that the medicine made me gravely disabled. I couldn’t move my body and was sleeping 12 hours a day and didn’t want to get out of bed. I had low self-esteem because I was struggling with my studies and work. I was getting fired at many workplaces because of my disability. I gravely hated myself. I thought to myself - is something wrong with me? Even on medication I was still depressed. I was feeling sad over my loneliness and wondering why I was struggling so much.
By Mulan Pha5 years ago in Psyche
Mental Health & It's Effect on Loved Ones
Let me first start by saying: "Everything written and expressed is based from personal experience. This is my family's story of Bipolar Disorder and how it has directly impacted not just my sister but each member of our family.
By Tiffani Talks5 years ago in Psyche
Random Woods 10.28.2020
Hi! My name is Leslie Jones and these are stories of my bipolar life. I hope you will enjoy reading my work. Shortly After Birth
By Leslie Jones5 years ago in Psyche
Disguised
Almost 2 years ago, she yearned for love . Coming out of something more than toxic . Abuse , pain , confusion, it was all a wreck. You ever wish you could get a slight preview of what you’re getting yourself into before actually getting into it ? Yeah .. that was her. In fact she’d scroll her page , Oh ! And yes I mean her , she loved women , just as much as women claimed they love her. Continuing on , she’d scroll her page and view her past , past as in others before her , what she likes , what she’s into just everything anyone would want to know about someone they had their interest in . She was pretty cool . Her name was Alice . See Alice loves social media , she love making people laugh and just notice her , and what she could do. She as in Porcha realized Alice pain , no attention, past trauma and so on but there wasn’t anything Porcha could not fix .
By thelifeofpre _5 years ago in Psyche
I Am My Bipolar Diagnosis
I didn't choose the bipolar life, the bipolar life chose me. The new, hip thing to do in order to destroy stigma around illnesses, particularly mental illness, is to say, "I am NOT my diagnosis." It's an understandable thing to do. People don't want to be defined by just one aspect of who they are. I get that. And I'm cool with that. I'm down with what the kids are into these days.
By Chris Hearn5 years ago in Psyche