The search for a (romantic) partner

What is a romantic partner nowadays, but a convention blended with some long distant memories which have been converted by the brain into projections and fantasies. What is it left with, when we strip all these away?

I kept on revisiting these thoughts over time and, naturally, the perception changed, as well as the feeling, and all associations and implications, while doing an in-depth inner work. It so happens that the stream of consciousness finds me in the most quiet and undisturbed moments of my existence, where there is nothing else filling the space (meaning the headspace), but a soft ease and the breath of the moment. In between the thoughts, where I like to rest my soul, is where I find the most peace and bliss. Sometimes I just ask myself and I just let it be, for I know it will find its way to me. In that Divine timing everyone is talking about. Which, in fact, is not an actual time, but a state of consciousness.

So, I was exploring, in my inner work, these dense layers of romanticized partnerships, so that I can understand, at the core of it, what ignites in us (or me) the magnetism, paired with the ways to stay or to fly away. All this stripped off the norms, societal expectations and linear time.

 Why the flings just pass you by, despite all the intensity?

 When you remain, why do you leave and what is your soul searching for?

 When do you feel most connected or else, so alone?

 And what`s the depths that you (the single and the paired you) could reach?

There is a spinning circuitry in the brain for a while and suddenly, clarity settles in.

In there, where nothing exists, it is everything. But the clue is that there is a different kind of nothing emerging not from neglect, but from presence within oneself. The pace always changes as we are energy in motion. To me, it is the crumbling of identity that keeps on bringing along the most authentic moments of connection, within oneself and all around us.

So maybe, it would be that we just witness their lives and they witness ours. Making sure that by witnessing these, as dance of life, fragments and projections combined, we hold the ways to guide, always towards the core of our own being. To the source of it all, to the bliss, to the wholeness. Like a kind reminder, like a soft blanket on a cold winter day, we are this to their lives and they are these to ours. Just by the simple act of witnessing somebody’s life and not interfering with their pathway unless we are specifically asked for.

And just like this, it emerges from within a new consciousness, with more kind questions, than the one which started the spinning of the circuitry, re-arranging the outputs in a more blissful way. Not in a re-cycling adventure way, leading us to same data, but an upcycling value, leading us to more loving choices, more loving lives.

 What if we just move away from separation, and thus upgrade our love imprint?

 And then, what do we do if the other one cannot meet us at that level?

 Do we push, strive, struggle? Isn’t this what brought us to the first place here?

 Do we re-cycle the loop to more lessons or do we pause and make space for upcycling?

 Can we be so centered within ourselves, enough to be able to hold that space for someone else to grow into his/her own love, wholeness and meet us there, while maintaining our imprint unharmed?

It seems mostly that the days one feels most at peace with everything are the ones in which the flow of life is manifesting itself as the wholeness that it is and that we are, and we ride this wave.

I asked myself what would love towards myself do or towards one another? I had some harsh mental and emotional passages to cross into understanding that love is Universal (unlabeled as romantic / non-romantic) and even if I knew it intellectually, I did not integrate completely as a perception, as a sense. The boundaries we settle with others are just fences inside of us from where we build the separation from. They are just collections of data that served its purpose at some point and now we can let it go. So, when I feel my needs are not met, I go inside to revisit the fences I built towards the world and see what lies behind it.

In a closing note, the Spirit has left me with an easy answer to all of it. What if marrying someone these days is that you are picking the one to play hide and seek for the rest of your human life while growing your way into the spiritual one?